Aliens Ate My Badger!

I know what you're all thinking: he must be nuttier than a nutburger covered in nuts and wrapped in recyclable nut paper.  Ok.  Get this.  Last night, gigging with mates, start off well, which is unusual because we normally begin at rock bottom, stagger towards worse than pretty good, then plateau around not bad and wonder if we should take up knitting reindeer sweaters instead.  No, last night we started well with an easy blues in A and gradually plummeted to mediocre, which just goes to show how versatile we can be.

Departing after only one beer - this is important - I left the amp to be fetched another day and, carrying my guitar case, shortcutted down through Beechen Cliff.  At that time of night, it's usual to see or, at least, hear a badger or two snuffling around searching for worms.  (Because they don't eat cows, you know.)  Anyway, right in front of me, on the path sprinkled with orange, leaf-dappled light was a badger.  He stopped in his tracks, as did I.  Could he smell the beer on my breath, or the drops I spilt on my jeans?  It didn't matter. The question wasn't about to be answered.

There was a woosh.  Not the kind of woosh you get when the bus driver ignores you and goes flying past the stop.  This was more of a whistling woosh, followed by a grinding sound, which hurt the eardrums more than any of our numbers earlier in the evening.  This became a pulsating silence.  Something tall and shiny appeared between the badger and me.  I could see the 'oh, shit!' look on its face before some panel in the front of Mr. Shiny opened up and hoovered up the badger.  Nothing was said.  No unearthly communication.  The shiny guy turned to me, but luckily, as you see from my pathetic keyboard skills, I'm still here.

Now I'm a rational person.  No belief systems worth mentioning.  You might have a load of questions you want to ask.  Fair enough.  I'll make a list.  After all, Mr. Shiny is sitting with what might be his feet up on the coffee table in my living room.

Or, is this all rot and I'm still tangled up in the middle of some nightmarish lead section in B flat minor?