I knew a man, now lifted up on angels' tails to the great distillery in the sky, who said, when offered a glass of water: 'Oh, I never take it neat.' So much better than the soundlickers, spam-scammers and verbage pushers who insist on everything just so with a little hot water on the side. They squat mid-sentence ready to pounce with blah blah opinions and words so weary the very syllables are yawning as they tumble from the lips. They are the walking abattoir of speech and thought.
Example: 'I've known Sue since college. She got a poor third. Went out with Tom after me. Tall bloke. Nice Italian shoes from Dolcis. Not there now. Built a block of flats. Just a mile from the housing estate. Same as where Daphne lives. But her kids got into drugs. Hard to believe it could happen there. The people are good stock. You know. I mean... drugs, when they've got car ports and everything.'
That old man I mentioned would have got up and soft-shoe-shuffled round the table with a glass of the golden nectar in his hand, accompanying himself to a whistling version of Sunny Side of the Street. Better things to do. And when the time came for the trigger-happy mouth to leave, he would have said: 'I guess you'll be having a fox's breakfast... a pee and a quick look round!'
Let me know if you'd like an explanation of hot water on the side.
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